Girl Gets Clever and Calculated Revenge On the World's Worst Roommate

This story will make your roommates look like angels in comparison. 

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  • 01
    Text - My revenge on Loony Lucy, contender for World's Worst Roommate Bring your popcorn, because this is a long one. Loony Lucy is a slovenly, food-stealing, clothing- destroying waste of carbon. I dealt with it by keeping my space clean and ignoring her areas, storing my food at work or my boyfriend's place, and installing a lock on my bedroom door so she couldn't "borrow" outfits that "looked like she could fit into" when she had 30 pounds on me. All that made Loony Lucy a bad roommate, but I
    via talesofakat
  • 02
    Text - Loony Lucy then mailed this strange man a key to our apartment because he was going to get into town before she got off work. You read that right: a man she talked to for only two weeks, had never actually met and whol didn't know about now had a key to our shared apartment, and she wasn't going to be there to greet him. But I was. I'm starting laundry while wearing only my Victoria's Secret robe because l'll be hopping into the shower right after. I hear the lock snick, turn around and s
    via talesofakat
  • 03
    Text - CLG leaves, and to his credit, even locks the door behind him. Poor, poor CLG. I call Loony Lucy and ask her if CLG is her boyfriend and if she gave him a key. She said he was, and she did. She gushes about how they "met;" I hang up on her mid-sentence and call my boyfriend (who, Iucky me, actually is 6-foot-4 and built like a tank). He comes over, we pack up the essentials and I move in with him that day. We hadn't thought we were quite ready for that step, turns out that in the face of
    via talesofakat
  • 04
    Text - Still have that popcorn? Good. Now, the 2-year lease is in my name only because Loony Lucy's credit is so shitty that nowhere in the "good" part of town would take her; she'd been living with her parents over an hour away from her job for months before we started rooming together. Hindsight tells me this is because no one else would room with her prior to me. Hindsight's a bitch So there's nothing legally preventing me from subletting the apartment for the remaining 14 months on the lease
    via talesofakat
  • 05
    Text - Over the next couple weeks I get a few nibbles, but no one has the flavor I'm looking for to match Loony Lucy. Then I get a message from Kevin. Kevin goes down my list of warnings. Kevin doesn't care about the food-thieving; he orders takeout and hates leftovers. For obvious reasons, Kevin isn't worried about Loony Lucy borrowing his clothes. And Kevin admits that's he's a huge slob and not having to pay attention to it is actually a plus Kevin says the two-months rent seems kind of exces
    via talesofakat
  • 06
    Text - Kevin fills out the paperwork, leasing office does its credit/background check and gives it the green light. I mail Kevin my key Kevin moves in. I get a frantic call from Loony Lucy about a strange man showing up saying he lives there with her now. I tell her that's right, he does, and explain the subletting process. She starts raging at me, I hang up and mute her calls. Over the next few days I get a lot of voice mails. Some raging, some whining, some begging. Loony Lucy has been forced
    via talesofakat
  • 07
    Text - "Yeah, having a roommate who hands out keys without your consent to guys you don't know is a bitch, isn't it."
    via talesofakat

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revenge roommates funny
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